An Heir of Pure Blood
by Saotome Kyuubi
Summary: Hiashi is disappointed at his children and wants an heir of pure blood. Adding a touch of passion spice to Hinata's and Neji's food would seem like a way to go. Oneshot NaruHina with a touch of NejiTenten... and no, it's not a lemon story.


Disclaimer: I do **NOT** own Naruto. Kishimoto Masashi does…

"spoken"

_-thought-_

"**Kyuubi or Inner-Sakura"**

Author's foreword: No lemons, only implied sex, so don't go on expecting any. Also if you are averse to the idea of the characters having sex under influence of potions and such don't read.

**An Heir of Pure Blood**

The black-haired man knelt before the shrine. His offerings were presented by a number of black-haired men who brought out several sacks of rice and a plethora of rice cakes and sake. All this was done while the man stayed humbled before the shrine. After the offerings were placed and the servants had receded from his vicinity the man lifted his pupilless eyes to meet the steady gaze of the carved statue of a man, carrying a bag of rice.

Without a word the man placed several onigiri (rice balls) and a cup of sake before the statue… again silence followed. The man then bowed and uttered in a steady, even voice. "Inari, I wish that I would be granted an heir, an heir of pure blood… for my progeny have failed me. My eldest daughter is but a weakling and my younger daughter has been influenced by her lack of discipline. So ask you that you grant me this wish and will bless what I have planned with a bountiful harvest."

The man, Hyuuga Hiashi, then raised his eyebrow when the leaves of the trees on the shrine grounds rustled, even if there was no wind. _-An auspicious omen, surely my plans can't fail… even if my daughter is infatuated with that demon brat and my nephew is with that worthless orphan team mate of his. Soon I will have a worthy successor, and the clan will flourish.-_ These were his thoughts while he finished his prayers and turned to leave the shrine.

Had Hiashi truly mastered the Byakugan as he claimed, he might have seen the energy that rustled the leaves, energy that flowed from the statue of Inari towards a nearly forgotten and ill-kempt fox figurine, a figurine that had lain unheeded for more than a decade and a half. But as he didn't notice the unearthly energy, nor the almost 'foxy' grin that formed on the lips of the said figurine, he wasn't worried and was rather confident while making his way towards the ancestral home of the Hyuuga.

-----

In a gloomy dungeon, behind heavily barred gates and a seal crafted with the price of his life by the Yondaime Hokage, a massive creature stirred. It felt something, a presence it had not felt since leaving its former master. The beast let its crimson eyes scan every nook and cranny of its cell before turning its gaze towards the gates and beyond them. With a snarl it boomed out. **"You… it has been long since I left your service. What do you want? Come to lecture me about how the path to power corrupts? Or have you come to gloat upon my misfortune."**

There was an audible thud as a chubby old man dropped a bag of rice he was carrying and then sat on it. He wasn't one bit fazed by the glaring of two crimson eyes and calmly surveyed his surroundings before sniffing slightly. "Not quite as luxurious as I would have imagined, austere even." Before he could continue there was another menacing growl from behind the bars. "Now, now my old friend, I'm not here to gloat or anything."

Before he could be questioned the old man continued. "You see… I have a little job for you." The demon snorted at this. **"I'm not your errand boy anymore old man, besides… your errands usually end up with bad or evil people being punished and if you haven't noticed I am evil."**

The Kyuubi began to growl furiously as the old man burst out in peals of laughter. "My, my… aren't we negative?"

With a shake of his head he continued. "Anyway, you see there is a rather selfish man involved and you just might get to cause a little havoc should your container be involved in this as well." This got the demon's attention as his ability to wreak destruction had been seriously impaired following the sealing. The gargantuan beast swished its tails before leaning against the gate and growling. **"This had better be good…"**

The old man began to explain, and while it was clear to the demon that he was omitting several facts the plan was almost too good to pass up on… the demon Kyuubi let out a loud roar of pleasure, before informing his uninvited visitor that he would lend aid in the matter.

-----

Meanwhile, a certain blonde shinobi, or rather several dozen and then some blonde shinobis were trying to split leaves using only their chakra when another shinobi, this one with pink hair, walked to the clearing. Sakura just shook her head at the sight and tried in vain to pick the 'original' from amidst the clones. Failing that, she began to work her way through the clones by smacking them… hard, effectively turning them into clouds of smoke. Completely ignoring the shouts of protests she continued to rampage through the horde until finally her fist connected with something solid that didn't disappear with a poof. Instead the object managed to yell in pain before being flung to a nearby tree.

The boy in question, Uzumaki Naruto… the self proclaimed future Hokage, not so self proclaimed dobe or dead last, The Jinchuuriki who held within the fierce Kyuubi no Yoko and a semi retired master prankster… lost his consciousness briefly and caused a multitude of loud 'poof' sounds as the surrounding area was filled with vanishing kage bunshins (shadow clones). When he came to, he whined loudly at the pink haired girl who had interrupted his training. "Sakura-chan… why did you do that? Now I have to make all those clones again and it'll be a pain. You are so mean sometimes."

The girl, Haruno Sakura, simply glared at the blonde. "Naruto-baka… you passed out again yesterday and Kakashi-sensei had to drag your worthless carcass back to your place. Not only that, but he specifically said to take the day off and not to do this exercise unsupervised." The kunoichi then put on a scary face and lifted her fist menacingly. "But if you are so insistent on passing out… well, that can be arranged." Naruto flinched at the 'matter-of-fact' tone that she used. "Or… you can take the day off, go get your ramen from that shop you are so fond off… go home conscious and wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed and accomplish something. Also Kakashi said to meet you here 6 am, bright and early."

Naruto pondered for a moment, his gaze going from the several bare trees that had contributed their leaves for his training to Sakura's still clenched fist. He made a face, inwardly as not to invoke the wrath of the girl, while thinking. _-This is way too… Shikamaru would say troublesome. It's not like the Kyuubi is any danger as I'm only using like hundred or so clones… Still ramen sounds good about now and Sakura-chan will probably beat me near to death if I say no.-_ The blonde, his deliberations done and hastened by the loud growl that emanated from within his stomach, put both hands behind his head and smiled widely. "Ne Sakura-chan… ramen sounds like a really good idea and it really seems I need to feed the demon… Why don't you come get some too?"

The pink haired Kunoichi frowned at him. "If you are asking me for a date then forget it Naruto. Besides I need to go to the hospital to do some stuff for Tsunade-sama. And some free advice too… if you ever actually get someone to go on a date with you don't take them for ramen. The poor girl will be left all alone when you focus on the food." She ignored any whines of protest and started prodding the boy towards the village, narrowed her eyes and growled out. "And if you even think about sneaking back to do training I'll personally hurt you… a lot." Inner-Sakura smiled wickedly as the boy gulped audibly… **_-Shannaro… I still got it…-_**

-----

Hinata didn't enjoy family dinners very much, instead she preferred to eat alone or if possible with her cousin Neji or with her sister, but as luck would have it her father had 'request', demanded would be more accurate, that they have a quiet family dinner. Hinata mentally prepared for another excruciating hour of constant berating on how she was a weak and worthless daughter, how her father wished that Hanabi had been born first and such. And during that time nor her sister or her cousin would dare to offer any sympathy… not after Neji had defended her once and ended having his cursed seal activated. Hinata had forbidden him to stand up for her after that incident and had ordered, something the shy girl almost never did, rather than asked her sister to do the same.

In a way Hinata wondered if her father was entirely sane. After his defeat at the hands of Uzumaki Naruto, Neji had begun to change… and had acknowledged Hinata and even managed to help her some with her training. As a result Hinata had become rather popular among the branch house as they now saw a potential leader who would, if she could, bridge the chasm that lay between the main and branch houses.

And yet her father insisted that she was incapable, weak and worthless… despite the fact that she had proven herself and been promoted to Chunin rank. Now her father, who conveniently ignored the fact that Neji was one year older and a genius, berated her because she was yet to achieve Jonin rank. This caused dissent among the branch who felt that Hiashi was placing undue demands on his daughter, possibly as means to strip her of her status as the heir, as he had been one year Hinata's senior when he, himself achieved Jonin status.

With her heart heavy with these thoughts the indigo haired heiress entered the family dining room, bowed slightly towards her father and shuffled over to her seat. Only a scant moment later Neji entered and her father said. "Hanabi won't be joining us today, her Jonin-sensei had some mission or another for her." With that he indicated that they should begin eating… only to be interrupted by a knock from the door and the following appearance of one of Hiashi's servants. The man whispered something to his clan leader, after which Hiashi stood and said "There is a matter that requires my attendance… please do not let this interrupt your meal." and left with the servant.

The two remaining Hyuuga simply acknowledged this with a nod and waited for the door to close, then simultaneously activated their kekkei genkai (bloodline limit) to check if the seals on the walls were in place… they were as their Byakugan didn't penetrate the walls. As they deactivated their doujutsu (eye technique), Neji offered his cousin a rare smile and said. "Well Hinata… seems your meal just turned a bit more enjoyable ne?" The girl simply nodded, took a bite of her rice and lifted her gaze to meet the lavender eyes of her cousin before smiling shyly.

It was a rare thing, and had taken considerable effort, to get Neji come out of his Hyuuga shell. He only did it around Hinata really, and lately he'd been dropping his front around his team mate Tenten… something that had at first stunned the girl into shock, then into a fit of hysterical laughter and finally into a multitude of apologies as Neji had immediately retreated back into his shell and had been hard to coax back out. Still the change was a refreshing one, Neji acting more like a normal person and Hinata being less shy, even laughing out loud every now and then as her cousin relegated the latest antics of Maito Gai and Rock Lee…

The two kept exchanging pleasant small talk with Hinata momentarily retreating back to her shell when Neji referred to the only thing that caused her to clam up entirely… Uzumaki Naruto. Still the boy smiled as Hinata managed, between blushing and the dreamy looks, laugh again when he related the more outrageous comments made by the apparently clueless blonde while on their recent mission. Neji actually allowed himself to smile widely when a momentary thought occurred to him. _-Maybe I should have a little chat with 'Naruto-kun' one of these days… then again there's no chance in hell Hiashi would allow Hinata to date him... then again… he is the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki and as such Hokage-sama might intervene. I'll have to ask Sakura-san.-_

They had finished and were sipping their tea when Neji suddenly felt light headed and his vision began to blur. He blinked and his vision snapped back into focus, with the notable exception that Hinata's figure seemed to have been overlaid with another. He blinked again… _-Tenten?... but that's Hinata-_ Without even noticing he'd stood up and taken few halting steps towards the puzzled girl who was now watching him curiously. With a hoarse voice, his body wasn't really responding to the commands issued by the brain, Neji managed to form the words. "Hinata… there was something… the food… get out… before I…"

Hinata, who was trying to figure out what was going on with her cousin, had backed away to the door when her vision seemed to blur, only to be replaced by almost painful clarity and suddenly the dark haired and pale eyed Neji seemed to morph into a slightly shorter blonde with brilliant blue eyes and whisker marked cheeks. Without even thinking she took a step forward and hungrily embraced the object of her affections while her brain was screaming. _-He is your cousin… it's not Naruto-kun… Naruto-kun… I'll be strong.-_

Neji's brain was screaming things along the same lines although in his brain the Blonde had been replaced by a brown eyed girl who wore her hair in buns. He tried to rally his mental defences enough to produce a Kaiten (Heavenly Spin) to knock his cousin away, failed miserably and as such was reduced to croaking out. "Hinata… the Kaiten… our only… hope."

These words, along with the mental chant of _-I won't give up, no matter what… that is my nindo.-_, rallied Hinata's sagging willpower and with a mighty heave she pushed the image of her crush away and began to whirl while expelling a large amount of chakra from her palms, more than she had ever managed to push out, and effectively creating a spinning chakra around herself and knocking Neji well through the flimsy door and out of the room.

As soon as the boy had been removed from her instant vicinity Hinata's mental faculties seemed to reassert themselves, at least partially, as she spun and ran to the exact opposite direction from Neji's exit path. What she didn't expect was that when she caught sight of an old man crossing the street the same thing happened as before… luckily she was able to resist as she had somehow expected that and managed to snap out of it before getting too close and molesting the old geezer.

-----

Hatake Kakashi, also know as the 'Copy Ninja Kakashi' or 'Sharingan Kakashi' was rather steamed. What pissed him off to no ends was tardiness, something which would have surprised everyone who actually knew the man, who was chronically late for everything if it wasn't a life and death matter. And Naruto was late, very late… it was 9 am and Kakashi decided that enough was enough and that it was high time to check on the blonde. _-Seriously, this borders criminal… being three hours late isn't even cool anymore. I hope the Akatsuki haven't made an appearance… nah, Naruto wouldn't go out without a fight that would have woken everything within miles from Konoha. Maybe the training is catching up on him.-_

His musings proved wrong when he reached the blonde's apartment, after having checked the Ramen Ichiraku's, and having invited himself in through the bedroom window that had been left unlocked. It took a moment for the genius ninja to come to grasp with the sight before him and he, after quickly checking with the Sharingan that he wasn't dealing with an elaborate genjutsu prank, stumbled and landed face first on the floor causing the apartment's blonde owner to stir and groan out loud.

Naruto was slow to return to the world of the living but a nagging feeling that something big was about to happen forced him to awaken. First thing he came aware was Kakashi, who was sprawled on the floor, and as such the blonde quickly yelled. "Kakashi-Sensei… what the hell are you doing in my bedroom. I was supposed to meet you at 6 am so what's the big deal?"

The Jonin in question slowly managed to get up on his shaky feet, regain his impassive facade and to say. "Well… it's well past nine now Naruto so you are a bit late. And while I did say to take the day off I didn't quite realise Jiraiya-sama had rubbed on you so much… still your excuse for being late is much better than anything I could ever come up with so we'll continue tomorrow 6 am… this time don't stay up too late now." As the blonde blinked at him with clear 'I don't get what you are saying' look on his face the grey haired Jonin wordlessly pointed at Naruto's bed.

That was when the blonde suddenly came aware that his bed was extremely warm and that there was... he then felt something warm rub against his arm and a soft mumble of "Mhhh Naruto-kun…" This caused the boy to jump up, and actually latch to the ceiling with a loud yell that subsequently woke up Hinata who sat up, offering Kakashi's eyes… he quickly uncovered the Sharingan to imprint the scene better to his memory… a mind boggling view of her matured assets. The girl, who nearly instantly determined that she was not home, was naked, and was ogled by Naruto-kun's sensei, finally noticed the stark naked Naruto clinging to the ceiling of what appeared to be his bedroom… she took one more look at the blonde's butt, squeaked and then fainted causing Naruto to come crashing down from the ceiling and Kakashi jump on the windowsill while chuckling in an obviously perverted tone.

The, almost, ever calm 'Copy Ninja' surveyed the two unconscious teenagers, decided that they would be alright and hopped out to the streets below while still chuckling to himself. -_I just have to find Jiraiya and tell him about this… the Sharingan comes handy too as I can share the experience with a little creative genjutsu usage. If this doesn't make in to the next 'Icha Icha' book I swear I'll become Gai's obedient servant for a month and if I can't hack that I'll volunteer as Anko's sex slave for two months. The old geezer better accredit me for this though…-_

Back in the apartment both of the teenagers were coming to about the same time, both incidentally chanting the same mantra of _-It's a dream… It's a dream…- _Naruto looked up just as Hinata sat up again and this time he simply froze while staring at her exposed chest… _-Man I never noticed but wow! She's got boobs. I mean seriously, she might give Tsunade-baachan a run for her money in a few years…-_ It took some time before Hinata, who was staring at the boy as the realization that it just might not be a dream began to seep in, noticed where his eyes where glued and with a massive blush managed to gather some sheets to cover herself. At that Naruto seemed to come out from his trance and realized what he'd just been staring at… and that he wasn't dreaming.

An uncomfortable silence followed as both of the teenagers stared at each other and tried to think furiously as to exactly why they were naked, sticky and in Naruto's bedroom... Or rather why they were naked, sticky and why was Hinata in Naruto's bedroom. Ever so slowly the reel of memories started to rewind.

--- Flashback ---

Naruto was feeling content, his stomach was filled with the contents of 21 bowls of ramen and he'd enjoyed some small talk with the old man Teuchi who, along with his daughter Ayame, seemed to be one of the few entrepreneurs in Konoha who were happy to have him included in their clientele… not to mention the ramen was, as he had said, the best he had tasted… in or out of Konoha. This proclamation had brought him a rap on the head by the owner, who'd threatened him with all sort of horrible things for eating ramen in other places, and subsequently a super size 'Ichiraku Deluxe' ramen special for his lifelong patronage.

When he exited the ramen stand he was run into by someone and instinctively grabbed the person to stop her, it was a girl without a doubt… he wasn't that clueless, from falling. He managed to get a good look at his old class mate and utter her name "Hinata?" before having his lips sealed by a searing kiss from the said girl. The blonde froze up at this sudden and very brazen behaviour from the usually so timid girl who could barely utter a word in his presence. After coming to grips with the fact that he had been just kissed and that he was currently rubbed against by the said girl, he managed a strained "Hinata… are you alright?" while blushing madly.

Unbeknownst to the teenagers boiling red chakra began to seep out from the seal in Naruto's belly and circulate through his system. When the boy realized that the fox was again trying to assert control over his faculties it was already too late… time seemed to slow for Naruto and his senses expand as he became acutely aware of the girl who was now nibbling his ear while still rubbing against him. His nose twitched as her scent assailed it… the scent of lilacs and even more so the scent of her arousal… the blonde's nostrils widened as he inhaled the sweet fragrance and then a haze of red seeped at the edges of his vision as the boy began to grind himself against the girl.

Neither of them really knew how they managed to get off the street and to Naruto's apartment with their clothes still on… and as soon they had gotten through the doors the clothes went flying like leaves in a whirlwind as two made their way to the bedroom…

--- Flashback Ends ---

Hinata blushed as she her memory played out the events of the previous night… she blushed horribly actually, but managed somehow to keep from fainting. Naruto on the other hand went pale as he instantly understood what had made him practically jump on Hinata the night before… The bastard fox had added a little of its chakra into his system and turned him into a raving sex-fiend. He paled even further when he realized that, while Hinata had been acting decidedly weird, he'd succumbed to the demon's manipulation and probably hurt his friend.

Hinata, who was now starting to grasp reality, was getting anxious. She certainly didn't quite know what reaction to expect from the boy she'd secretly loved for years and whom she had, not so secretly and very passionately… in a literal sense, loved last night. She was feeling elated from actually having even a moment of Naruto's time but at the same time was mortified as to his apparent reaction. The boy was deathly pale and was crying…

Moving almost mechanically the blonde shinobi made his way towards a dresser, rummaged about and pulled out a kunai and then turned back towards the bed. Hinata's eyes widened _-Kami… is he going to kill me now? No Naruto-kun would never do something like that… would he?-_ Her silent question was answered as the boy handed the kunai to her all the while sobbing. "I'm sorry Hinata… I really am…"

The lavender eyed girl actually frowned as Naruto continued. "I… it's that fucking fox. I… I couldn't… last time it tried I fought it back but I… I hurt you because that bastard demon Kyuubi. It's only fitting that you kill me and the sadistic fuck at the same time. Just please… make it quick, clean death… not that I deserve anything better than you ramming that kunai through my stomach. Heh, maybe you'll hit the damn thing in its ugly head or something."

Hinata's mind was reeling as she looked from the kunai to the boy and tried in vain to make sense of his rambling. Ever so slowly the pieces began to fall in place as the young woman began to understand… and remember. All those cold stares and hatred that had been directed towards her personal idol, something that she never understood until now. _-Poor Naruto-kun… they should treat him like a hero, not abuse him like he was the demon itself.-_

Naruto's sobbing rant was cut when Hinata tossed the kunai away and hugged him tight while simultaneously murmuring soothingly. He really never knew, but the saying 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' held true in Hinata's case as she had outgrown her shy fangirl crush during the two and a half year period that Naruto had been absent and had come to terms that she did truly love the blonde. And while she was shocked to learn that the monster Kyuubi had been sealed within the young man she loved it only made her love him more as she now began truly understand how indomitable his spirit was.

It took Hinata more than hour to calm Naruto down and squash any lingering self-destructive impulses. She also was treated to rather comical sight of the blonde fainting when she shyly proclaimed "I'm glad it was you Naruto-kun…"

-----

The pair made their way to the Hokage's office, only reason for this being that Hinata had managed to convince Naruto from going to kill his father outright, and soon stood before the visibly furious Godaime Hokage. When they got to the point where the two had accidentally met the young looking blonde jumped from behind her desk and dangled the startled Naruto in air. "Now Hinata has an excuse because she was under the influence of some weird drug but how in the hell are you going to explain why you took advantage of her?"

Naruto jerked as if being hit by a kunai and was about to fall apart again when Hinata's soft intervention stopped the process. In a quiet voice the blonde, who was still hanging from Tsunade's iron grip, explained. "It… it was that bastard fox. It happened before, when I was training with Ero-sennin. I was looking for him from the local bath house where I thought he would be peeping when that furry fucker did something to me. I started… lusting the women there and just barely managed to get the hell out before I jumped any of them. I told the old lech about it but he just shrugged it aside as normal teenager thing."

Tsunade's eyes flashed dangerously as she dropped the boy unceremoniously on the floor before going behind her desk and sitting down while mumbling. "Jiraiya… I'm going to castrate you the next time I see you." She then drowned a cup of sake that was provided by the worried looking Shizune and again glared at the boy. "I don't need this crap… this is why I said that being a Hokage is a shit job. Now go wait in the hall while I ask Hinata some questions that you really don't need to know about…. then we can think about how to deal with that bastard Hiashi."

Naruto looked as he was going to object but decided, in a miraculous bout of insight, that compliance was in his best interests and quickly left the room leaving a heavily blushing Hinata in his wake. The two medic nins looked at the shy young woman before them before Tsunade asked. "So Hinata-chan… when is your period due?" When she got her answer there was a look exchanged between the three. "I see that Hiashi planned this one pretty well then… there is a good chance that you will get pregnant here and there isn't much we can do about it after the fact. Now I need to ask… did you two have sex more than once?" Shizune was amazed that the young Hyuuga didn't faint when asked that question but rather nodded only to blush even more fiercely when the Hokage continued her questioning. "So… how many times did you have actual intercourse?"

Hinata mumbled something out, poked her fingers and hoped that the earth would swallow her. When it didn't, and she realized that an answer was expected she shyly mumbled her answer causing Tsunades mouth fall comically open while her assistant just stared at the girl in shock.

-----

Hyuuga Neji groaned and tried to find a better position to sleep. He failed though and with a sigh of irritation decided that it might be time to get up… he failed in that too. As the Jonin opened his eyes he noticed several things… one, his team mate Tenten was nearby and eyeing him warily. Two, he was tied up tightly. He blinked and tried to move again causing the girl who was eyeing him call out. "Neji? Are you feeling yourself or are you going to jump on me if I let you go?"

Neji just groaned out as the memories came back. He'd made it away from the compound and into the woods only to run into Tenten who was doing target practice… luckily the girl had been able to beat him off as he didn't quite seem to be able to focus on fighting while under the influence of the drug. His Byakugan activated on its own as he realized just what Hiashi had been trying to do. Making a scary face he fumed. "Tenten. My uncle drugged our food in order to make me and Hinata-sama have sex and probably to produce offspring… untie these damn ropes I need to find Hinata before it's too late."

Tenten eyed the boy cautiously before flicking her wrist and sending a kunai flying that neatly severed the knots that held the boy down. "If that is the case I suggest we go inform Hokage-sama first… she might be able to mobilize a task force to find her." The Hyuuga considered it before agreeing and soon the pair made it to the Hokage tower where they spotted Naruto standing anxiously outside the Hokage's door.

Naruto had just waved grimly at Neji when a loud yell of "You had sex with Naruto at least a dozen times before you lost count?" echoed through the building. Neji stiffened, Tenten gasped and swooned slightly, Naruto began to sweat nervously and soon was driven through the thick office door by Neji's Hakke Rokuju Yonsho (Divination Field, 64 strikes). The mayhem that followed was spectacular even for an event like this and it took Tsunade to the brink of a nervous breakdown. After the raging Hyuuga was stopped from actually killing the unfortunate blonde, Tenten and Shizune had stopped actually drooling at Naruto and the Godaime had downed another cup, or two, of sake and everyone had managed to calm down slightly Tsunade sent for Hyuuga Hiashi… namely she ordered ANBU to find and bring him there, forcibly if necessary.

When the Hyuuga head arrived he calmly surveyed the situation and noticed that his daughter was standing slightly behind Naruto who was sporting rather menacing red eyes and was radiating killer intent at him. A quick check with the Byakugan and he put two and two together, in an arrogant manner he said. "Hokage-sama I demand that monster to be put on trial for raping my daughter… A death penalty would do since…"

He didn't get further when Tsunade's fist slammed into her desk and cut off the man's speech. "Save your shit Hiashi. You are charged with crimes ranging from drugging one Konoha shinobi to attempt rape and another to actually do the deed… You are hereby declared unfit to raise children and as such Hyuuga Hinata and Hanabi are transferred into my custody." She ignored the now livid man. "Furthermore I simply have had it with the way you run your clan… but since I can't do anything to forcibly remove you I will only issue an announcement stating that any member of the Hyuuga branch house can have his or her curse seal removed by me if they are willing to serve Hinata."

Hinata gasped at this, not knowing what to think while Hiashi tried to object. His objections were simply ignored as a pair of ANBU appeared and at Tsunade's order took the struggling man for interrogations. Neji simply smirked at his uncle and then bowed towards Hinata saying. "Well Hinata-sama… it would seem that you are now the leader of our little clan of three. Although I would think that almost every branch member will be more than happy to join later. However there are issues that require your attendance… such as where will we find room to house our people."

-----

That had been three months ago and now the Uchiha sector of Konoha was bustling again as Tsunade had relocated almost fifty former Hyuuga branch member to several buildings in that abandoned section of the town. The Hyuuga, not branch and main houses but simply Hyuuga, were celebrating the wedding and pregnancy of their clan leader. Hiashi's plan had worked indeed, albeit not in the way he'd hoped, and Hinata had gotten herself pregnant.

It had been rather awkward for the two teenagers but they had managed to get over it and actually go out on a few dates before Naruto found Hinata retching on one morning when he was coming to get her for a training session… the frantic blonde had then dragged the furiously blushing girl to see the Hokage all the while wailing. "Obaachan Hinata-chan is sick and dying… HEEEELLLP…" Needless to say Tsunade had been less than happy to be rudely prodded from sleep into a massive hangover and had proceeded to beat Naruto unconscious after hearing what the matter was.

And here they were, dreamy looking and very happy Hinata sitting beside Naruto who was feeling uncomfortable in the formal clothing. The ceremony seemed to blur for the couple as their friends, team mates, teachers and even the Hokage herself, and much to everyone's surprise, The Kazekage held speech after speech… Hinata actually giggled when Naruto whispered a loud "Iruka was boring as a teacher, but man that was nothing compared to this speech! I want ramen…" during one of the more long winded speeches.

-----

It was the incessant pounding coming from the door that woke Naruto up. With a groan he rolled over and managed to croak. "Hinata-chan… can you please get the door I'm still totally bushed from beating Sasuke-teme up and bringing him back." The pounding didn't relent and he noticed that Hinata wasn't there. He though _-How odd… where did Hinata-chan go?-_ while stumbling out of the bed and opening his door only to come face to face with Sakura. Naruto blinked slightly then smiled and said. "Neh Sakura-chan what are you doing here? Why aren't you fawning over that teme Sasuke and trying to get that damn cursed seal off his system."

The girl just blinked at Naruto and then rapped him slightly on the head. "You moron did you suffer brain damage while training? You passed out on the training grounds again and Kakashi-sensei had to drag your worthless carcass back to your place again." She then pushed the blonde back, to what he noticed was, his apartment and yelled. "Now move it… Tsunade-sama said that she wanted to speak to you about this trend of fainting you seem to have… and she did mention something about sealing that fox of yours in there better."

Naruto just stood there, bewildered, before muttering. "But… but what about Hinata-chan? And the babies?" His voice faded out when Sakura looked at him like he'd grown two heads causing him to try and defend himself. "I think I had the weirdest dream ever…" Soon after he was telling about his dream to Sakura, who'd first threatened to beat him if he had some ecchi dreams about her, and had then threatened to beat to beat him up if he didn't divulge the contents after hearing that it had been about Hinata.

As luck would have it Team 8 were on their way out after a mission debriefing in the Hokage's office when Sakura's voice came through the door. "Nani? You got Hinata, as in our shy Hinata-chan, pregnant?" This caused four pairs of eyes turn towards the now hyperventilating Hyuuga girl. Sakura's voice then continued. "You had better tell me you are thinking about doing the honourable thing and marrying her…"

To which another voice answered. "Nee Sakura-chan… of course I…" At this point the doors opened and Naruto came face to face with the beet red Hinata who only managed a breathless squeak before fainting. Naruto went nearly as red before stammering out "Aaaaaahh Hinata-chan…" and nearly fainting himself.

Akamaru barked at that and Shino wordlessly handed the widely grinning Kiba a handful of coins. Yuuhi Kurenai took one look at her fainted team member, pulled out a kunai and fixed the blushing blonde with a fierce look. "Now then Uzumaki-san… what is this about Hinata being pregnant?"

As Sakura explained the Inuzuka boy burst out in peals of laugher at the blushing Naruto's expense. "Ha… I knew it… even the dense idiot you are, finally realized that Hinata-chan is head over heels in love with you." His statement was accentuated by a bark from Akamaru and a slight smile from Kurenai who ushered her team out from the building… sans Hinata that is, as she only said. "Well Uzumaki-san you got her 'pregnant' and now she's out could because of that… so you take care of you 'wife' there…"

As Sakura made her way to see Tsunade, to inform her that Naruto would be delayed, and Team 8 made their way out from the tower Kiba commented. "Man I wonder how Neji would react if he heard that Naruto knocked Hinata-chan up… It would be total pandemonium and I seriously think that even the blonde idiot's unnatural resilience wouldn't save his life." He stopped abruptly when a massive flare of killer intent was sparked nearby. Kiba sweated heavily while turning at the deadly looking Hyuuga Jonin in question and tried. "Ahh… Neji… it's not…" He stopped when it was apparent that the boy was beyond words. Soon after the sounds of violence echoed through the Hokage tower…

When Hinata came to from a wonderful dream where she had been married to Naruto she noticed that the object of her dreams was laying nearby, brutally beaten but still obviously alive. Next thing she came aware of was Neji who was kneeling beside her and was saying. "Hinata-sama… I have failed to protect you but… I left him alive so that you will be able to marry him and preserve decency." Hinata blinked at this, poked her fingers together and fainted when Neji continued. "After all a child should not be born out of wedlock…"

-----

The old man shifted in his Hokage robes and looked at his grandkids. The eldest, a dark haired girl of thirteen years of age, asked "And then you started dating obaachan?"

The blonde shifted again and said. "Well I really didn't… uh well that is to say…"

-----

Naruto stumbled back to his apartment, the day had been bad… really bad. First the dream, then Hinata-chan, he paused at this _-And since when have I thought about her as Hinata-chan?-_, had heard about the damn dream… then Neji had beaten him to oblivion and as a result he had a massive headache and he was certain that the damn bastard fox was laughing his furry ass off… along with the rest of Konoha. _-I'll be the laughing stock of the whole village when this gets out… if I survive when Hinata-chan's dad hears about this. Kuso… I think I'll call it a day and hit the sack.-_

The blonde had just gotten into his pyjamas when there was an incessant knocking from his door. He groaned, trudged towards the door, and yelled. "This had better be good because I've had a really bad day and if it's a waste of my time then the Kami help me… I'll find a way to put you inside the seal and feed you to that bastard Kyuubi…" He swung the door open and looked at the impassive eyes of none other than Hyuuga Hiashi. Naruto groaned out…

The man started. "Uzumaki-san I heard there was an incident involving you and my daughter… something about pregnancy? I've contacted the Hokage and set an omiai for…" He got no further when Naruto simply groaned again, turned around and slammed the door closed leaving the man outside. There was a yell of "Go away! I'm going to bed and when I wake up tomorrow I will realize that this has all been just a dream… yeah that's it… a dream." from the inside… followed by an insane laughter.

The next morning revealed to Naruto that it had not been a dream and as such he decided to set things right with the Hyuuga head. Resolutely he got dressed in his better clothes, gave his hair a little brushing and placed a polished Hitai-ate on his forehead before storming out of the door and towards the Hyuuga compound. He simply brushed past Kiba and Shino who tried to stop him and yelled "Talk to you later… I've got to sort this mess out first." while trying to figure exactly how he could accomplish the deed.

Shino and Kiba just exchanged glances before Shino asked. "You think he'll survive… and what do you think Hinata's father will do when he finds about the 'incident'?" Kiba just shrugged and offered a silent prayer for Naruto's soul while following the Aburame boy to a good vantage point from where they could observe the Hyuuga gate without being noticed.

Naruto was, after initial difficulties, admitted to see Hiashi, who was eating breakfast with his daughters and cousin. Naruto waved at Hinata, who quickly hid her blushing face behind a rice bowl, and at Neji, who raised an eyebrow while pondering why the blonde was there. The Jinchuuriki then adopted a serious look and addressed the curious Hyuuga clan leader. "Now look here Hiashi-sama… I absolutely didn't get Hinata pregnant... not in reality anyway…" Hinata fainted, Neji groaned and Hanabi spat out a mouthful of miso soup while Hiashi simply blinked. "So all this talk about omiais and all that is just a little premature. I mean seriously it was just a dream for Kami's sake and then you come barging to my place and talking about omiais and all that… I haven't even been out on a date with Hinata-chan."

Hiashi, after taking a moment to assess what had just happened, let his gaze go from his daughters, the fainted Hinata in particular, to the groaning Neji and finally to the defiantly standing Naruto… then he smiled. "Uzumaki-san that is a great idea if I do say so myself. It would be a good match and certainly your sacrifice for our village should not go unrewarded. I will go see to the arrangements presently with Hokage-sama." With that the man stood up, clapped his hands and said to the appearing servant. "Set a place for one more person." After that he walked over to Naruto and patted his shoulder. "Please take a seat Uzumaki-san…"

Naruto plopped down, effectively stupefied while Hiashi addressed his nephew. "Neji, as Hinata seems to be… unable at the moment, it will be your duty to act as the host for our guest. See to it that he is treated accordingly." He then turned to Naruto again. "And Naruto-kun… I must look into the matter of someone impersonating me as I certainly didn't visit your apartment yesterday… well no matter, I'm going to meet the Hokage now so I hope you will enjoy the breakfast." With that he left the stunned Naruto, gaping Hanabi, fainted Hinata and grinning Neji around the table.

Outside two shinobi who were watching the Hyuuga compound sneezed simultaneously. "You think he's dead already?" Asked the dog user from his bug using team mate. The other boy turned his black sunglasses towards the other and said. "No… he's getting married to Hinata. The bug I placed on him just relayed the information…"

-----

The old man growled. "That's the only time I've ever been successfully pranked… and that's how I started dating your grandmother." The four children, three really as the youngest had fallen asleep during the story, exchanged glances causing the old man to chuckle. "Oh and that reminds me… Hinata-chan, don't even think that I didn't notice the water bucket trap on my office door this morning. Your mother will ground you permanently if I let her on this…" The old man's blue eyes flashed mischievously. "…But I might be willing to stay silent for a price of some ramen." The girl, who was named after her grandmother, flinched whiled doing mental calculations. The Rokudaime Hokage's ramen bills were legendary but on the other hand being grounded would mean that she wouldn't be able to see that… boy. Shyly she poked her fingers together and nodded making the old man smile happily.

**--- The End ---**

A/N:

Inari is the Shinto god of rice, fertility and foxes... often depicted as an old man who carries around a bag of rice.

Well, there you have it. A something I came up with after being stranded on an island with a case of beer, plenty of sausages and other stuff I cooked over the fire. That is to say I spent a quiet and nice day fishing and generally just lazing about like a real good Shikamaru imitation (I even did my hair in a similar fashion.)

Right and while I did mostly think this up while fishing away the ideas came from Ranma ½ in which they have all sorts of weird potions and whatnot, including love pills and from the "You will provide me with an heir of pure blood." moment from Gladiator.

I originally intended to leave out the whole Naruto was just dreaming part but it seemed too brutal for me :)

Oh and if you've read this far then know that you have fallen for my jutsu and as such will be compelled to review this story! Insert insane laughter here :)


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